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Marriage... What's The Worst Thing That Could Happen?

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"I, ***, take you, ***, to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife.
To have and to hold for:
Better or worse, Richer or poorer.
In sickness and in health...'Til death do us part"

 Scary those few words are... 'til death??? I mean that's a binding life long commitment that scares the heck out of me.
What if things don't go as planned? What if this your lifetime partner happened to be the wrong one? What then? I know you can't just quit but then again you don't stay just because it's what is expected of you.... or do you? And with kids involved? oh my goodness don't get me started. 

 So, simply based on my past experiences which by the way weren't so great, I have been left unsure and afraid because well... here is a guy, he appears to be everything I'm looking for so I let my guard down and allow him into my heart/life. Few months in and it's all good. 1 year in and still going good. 1.5 years in and boom... jerk boyfriend unleashed. The lies, cheating, disrespect. I swear it's like when you don't care about a guy and give him little to no attention, he is all over you. Fall senselessly in love with him and he does a full 360° on you and treats you like dirt. Why? I will never know. 
Not that that's how all guys are. I just seem to have the worst ex boyfriend record, and it has affected me so much so that when i get a really good guy I just think something's up and my suspicions get the best of me and I end up pushing the good ones away.

So because of this I'm just really afraid of marriage because one can't just walk away and end it as simply as one can in a mere boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I don't know what to expect. I don’t know if it'll be good or bad. If he'll be a serial cheater or not. If he'll love and respect me or not. If he'll be the best father he can be or not. If he'll treat my family well or not. If he'll be supportive and understanding or not. If he'll be one of those over controlling husbands or not.

I don't know if when I do get married it will be a happy and fulfilling union with two people so in love and willing to do whatever it takes to make it work

I just don't know. And that uncertainty kills me.
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Comments

  1. Anonymous5 November 2016 at 09:20

    Wow , you've covered everything. Unfaithfulness seems to be a necessity that most men cant do without. Attracted to the body, in love with the moments , and not scared to move on seems to be the way forward for most men, but all thst can be changed provided You're hopeful that the right guy is out there. #nevergiveuphope #evenwhentheydo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown20 November 2016 at 03:06

      The right guy ey... thought that was a mythical creature

      Delete

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