Good ol' Lovin'

I'm starting to sound like a broken record with my fear of love yet lover of love paradox speeches but *shrugs* I can't help it.

Today though I'm sharing my ummm thoughts... ones I have more often than I ought to for a single gal 😔

So anyway.... I've always had a soft spot for "cute couples", you know, the ones who always seem to be happy and in love all the time. Affection filled pictures that I can't stop staring at.... well despite the cute and mushy stuff I also like the downsiee of relationships that no one ever shows or shares.

I like to experience it all. And I picture it all the time. I want the next relationship I have to be filled with enough certainty that I'm able to get comfortable enough to live out my thoughts.

I want to be there for my man as much as he is for me. I want him to wake up to my baked treats for breakfast, come home from work or a day/night out to a hot plate of my cooking, back rubs or foot rubs after a long day while he tells me all about how his day has been. I want to support, uplift and help my man where I can. I want for my name/number to be one he thinks of anytime something good or bad happens . To be his confidant and him, mine. I want to be able to not only laugh with him but cry to and with him. I want to hold his hand and be held by his and know that i am safe with him, and him with me. I want to be able to go through tough times with him and still stay strong. I want to be by his side when he's both broke and balling.  To have a connection so deep even we ourselves can't break. To be able to pray with him,  grow spiritually together. Be goofy and free with each other. To argue so hard yet care more for each other. To be as proud to be his woman as he is to be my man. To understand and kmow each other more than anyone. To have each others families and friends close. To look to his parents/siblings as my own. To nurse each other when sick. To shower affection, do cute and romantic gestures for each other. To value each other so much and respect each other. I want for him to know that when he's down with barely enough to give, I will be there, to help him get up because I believe in all he can be.

I want to give love without being taken advantage of and lied to.
I want to give a love I know will be given back. A mutual one. One worthy of both our hearts. And maybe just maybe I can experience that old school Rn'B kind of love with a touch of reality.

But because I can't have that right now, all i can do is wait. And love myself while i wait. Love myself enough to know my worth so as to not allow anything less.  Until I find or get found by someone who will fit seamlessly well with me, all I can do is pray and torture you all with my raves and rants 😋