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Road to Lonely?

"you know this behavior you do, you push people away. by the time you realize it, it will be exactly how you want it.... YOU ALONE"

Received that text today after declining a visit offer from the same person.......

Now, like I said in my 'Getting my Ducks in a Row' post here i'm a bit of a mess... okay, okay, a lot of a mess! and this year I have been all the way off with family, friends, school, health, mental state. I have had a roller coaster of emotions, even thought about withdrawing from school for this year 'til I was in a better place.

But instead I decided to isolate myself so I could centre myself. Get myself together. Find my happy. Fix myself so I could be better not just for me but also for those around and close to me.
To find motivation so I can get my A game on with school and my health. And also find my happy  (link here) so I can be a better friend . Nobody wants to be around someone that drains the life out of you, I certainly don't so why subject my friends to that? Hence the friendship hiatus.... I'm trying to spring clean my life, you know.

We all have different ways of taking care of our breakdowns and our friends and families just have to understand that and encourage us with it. Mine requires solitude which happens to be my go-to for everything because I think better and more clearly when i'm by myself.
But for someone to say I'll end up alone because of declining a visit... hmmm... That got me thinking... What friend responds like that after finding out I want to be alone? Wouldn't the more natural response be to find out why? And then once you have a better understanding of things then give a more fitting response? or am I the only one that thinks in those lines?

Or is what I think is helping me causing me more harm than good? Is my love for alone time ridding me of friendship? .... See everyone is getting ready to have fun and I'm over here deep in thought over this *sigh* oh well, enough of the ranting.

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!! May you be responsible in your festivities and if you're staying in like me, booo go get yourself a life! lol nah I'm just playing...

~XO~

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