Unspoken Thoughts

Hmmm... Now almost everyone when growing up said the words, "I won't do this to my children" or something in that regard whenever our parent(s) said or did something we didn't like. At a certain age, we don't see the benefit of certain things 'til a few years later when we realize our parents were only looking out for us when they did what they did, whether we liked it or not.

"Guys can't take it if their woman was to have sex with someone else while women can't stand having their man fall for or develop feelings for someone else" ...heard this on a talkshow the other day. Hmmm... I don't know about that! Because I for one would not want my man either sleeping with another woman or developing feelings for someone else. I understand we females are emotional beings and so our feelings develop from how men talk to us, the things they say, the treatment we receive, the little romantic gestures or compliments that have us blushing (yea black girls blush too lol) and floating on all sorts of clouds. So I get how your man doing the same things that have you swooning for him, to/for another woman and getting attached to her would be a problem. 'cause if a man is telling me he loves me mmh I better be the only one being told those words. And then, men are territorial beings. So having their woman laying in bed with some other man would c...

A few minutes ago I was sitting thinking about... Well nothing really. Then a random thought popped up... Who am I? What is Zamiwe all about? I instantly went blank. That scared me, alot! You often hear people say 'no one knows you like you do'. Well folks, I just realized that may not be all the way true. We get so carried away with life and the curveballs it throws at us that we don't even notice ourselves morphing into something entirely different. Here I was trying to figure out stuff like, when did this happen? How did it happen? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? How do I get back to where I used to be or should I embrace it and take it as an opportunity to learn more about and rediscover myself? The latter sounded more like a plan than anything else. Change isn't such a bad thing... Adapting to it on the other hand, woo! Not so much lol. But it's a challenge, and boy oh boy do I love me a challenge *smirks* I figure the best thing to do is take it a ...

My heart... a dark and narrow twisted hollow Do you feel it? It's cold and lonely Once filled with joy, hope, love.... Love Ugh. That word. It is the very bane of my existence. What good ever came of it? It is nothing but a curse A life sucking source of pain Look at me... I am broken. Shattered. You said you'd light up my pathways and fill my hollow void. Why are you leaving me? Was I not enough? Or too much? Did you hurt yourself trying to pick up the broken pieces? *sigh* It is I that is hurt, I lay bleeding. I have nothing left. They're  all gone. Every one of them left. Left me with this dark and heavy ghost Take it away from me.... It's too much to bare It won't let me be. It pierces through me, do you not hear the anguish in my voice? It torments me. Daily gnawing at my soul aaaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhh!! They're all gone. All but the ghost... It lurks deep within my dark hollow... Searching It won't let you reside within its doma...

"Ah I can't pay all that just to go watch a Zambian artist".... "Ah made in Zambia? Teti inshite"... "Zambians are useless"... "Rapping/singing in bemba? Aweh"... "When I have money I'll leave this place" *sigh* It's so easy for us to spend money on foreign artists or goods and not on our own. We have a very sad and serious inferiority complex. From childhood we have the mentality that Zambia is related to mediocrity. It is so severe that even when someone has outstanding talent, we shun them because it is hard to believe good can come from within us. But why?? We find it so hard to promote and encourage each other. It's almost an instinct we have embedded deep within us to put down any one trying to do great things. We tend to adapt foreign terms, dress, gestures and phrases... We'd rather wear another country's traditional dress than our own, learn and speak another country's language proudly and not ...

Ever been a staunch follower of or believer in something and felt like the only one, then once a celebrity or a certain group of people take it up everyone takes notice and all of a sudden it's a thing?? Yea, me too. Nothing wrong with it. I just feel like most of us do or say certain things just to fit in... The want for acceptance causes people to do all sorts of things they normally wouldn't.... The bandwagon effect. But why?? Why conform to certain ideas and beliefs so you can be accepted? Why not associate yourself with people like yourself with whom you can be comfortable with being you. Social media today has made people's desire to fit in more evident as I see certain words, phrases and topics trending. Once a group of people like a certain artist, or song or show or say certain things, it tends to explode into everyone liking it... Causing me to wonder if no one out of all the many millions of users on these sites has a different opinion on things?? *sigh* ...

It is common knowledge that as a race, we as black people haven't had it easy. But decades after gaining our freedom.... Are we really free?? Have the chains really been broken? Everytime I ask myself these questions, a yes is really hard to let out. We are still being held captive mentally by a ball and chain placed by our oppressors hundreds of years ago. Why are we so okay with being at the bottom? Why do we take it a step further and step on each other while at the bottom in order to feel more superior than each other? We want to use petty wars such as light skin vs dark skin do decide which shade of black is the better one... And surprise surprise, the winner is the one closest to  the color of the white man's skin. Smh and we wonder why women go to extremes trying to bleach their skin, straighten their hair and buy long silky straight hair trying achieve the "right" look then bash them for it later. Why do we constantly keep bringing each other down? Why sho...

Daily i sit or lay in solitude away from people. I like the quiet. I like the solace of my thoughts. They wander aimlessly and boy do they go places! Lol *inside joke* ... Yes! I have inside jokes with myself. I like that. I like having to talk to myself as though i were talking to someone completely different. Why you ask? Simple, zero judgement. No one to say 'that's weird' or 'that's wrong' or anyone to halt my wayward thinking and opinion of things. So here i am, with thousands of thoughts never uttered. but now here i am opening up to public or whichever few people are actually reading this to pour em out. My different opinions, random thoughts and topics as they popup in my head... Enjoy the journey through my wayward soon to be spoken thoughts